Saturday, May 12, 2007

Stress Reliever #1Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at yourpicture and the problem disappears.Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" ________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 2 Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries ortroubles.Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 3Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me togive up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 4 Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear." Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 5 Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 6 A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".."My father grows beans," said one student."My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans." ________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 7 Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as amillionaire to?"Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"Millionaire: "A Billionaire"________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 8 Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 9 A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex? He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 10 Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 11 Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side. ________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 12 A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty faceor my sexy body?He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense ofhumour.________________________________________________________________________Stress Reliever # 13 Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Areyou having your meals three times a day as I have advised?Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

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